Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Head Noise

Ah...life is busy these days, busy and wonderful. Vaughan, Lucy and I laugh heaps together, my kiwi family is fantastic, my family and friends in the States and around the globe are doing well and I have met some lovely people and found a wonderful friend in Allison and her family. I enjoy my work, I get to work out several times a week and I am finally able to sleep for more than 3 hours in a row-- with sleep anything is possible.

The only thing I struggle with these days is a head noise -- a constant chatter in my head of what I need to do, what I forgot to do and what I want to do, etc. I reckon that what I refer to as head noise is simply a symptom of a busy life and trying to balance various roles: mother, wife, daughter, employee, auntie, mother/sister-in-law, friend and athlete (that label is probably an overstatement, but whatever). From my conversations with others it seems most parents have the same experience. The noise makes it difficult to just stop and do nothing...your brain is always buzzing and there is always an unfinished to-do list in your head. Head noise also makes it difficult to live in the here and now and be present in the moment. I try my best to be totally present when I am with Lucy, Vaughan, family and friends - it is not easy but I do my best -- Lucy certainly deserves it and I want to give her my full attention and focus when we are together.

So, I am currently working on a quiet head.

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