Emigrant

On Wednesday (my day off) I went to a seminar for work. It was sponsored by the Department of Labour which administers New Zealand's immigration policies. I am currently involved in immigration work for my employer, so off I went.

The seminar was aimed at Human Resource professionals and specifically at their attempts to recruit and retain employees. Turns out it is rather difficult to keep people in paradise at the bottom of the earth - far away from anything and everyone they know.

One speaker addressed the emotional stages that most emigrants go though. If they are lucky they go through all the stages in 6 months; I think it takes most more time than that.


The speaker noted the following stages - FUN, FLIGHT, FIGHT and FIT.

I am not sure if any of the kiwis in the room got it, but I did.

Briefly, she explained the stages as follows:

Fun - as when on vacation in a new place, everything is exciting and wonderful, the novelty of everything is fascinating and the new place/culture seems to be better than home

Flight - the novelty of everything being different has worn off and you just want to go home, nothing is the same, everything is different "when is the next flight home?"

Fight - everything that is different is silly or not well thought out, i.e. "give me a break with the -round-a-abouts and everything closing at 5pm" and the way the word debut is pronouced (DAY BOO) "why don't they do it like they do at home?"

Fit - different is fine, sometimes it's better.... : )

I am frequently asked, especially by people who I have just met, whether I miss "home" and how I like New Zealand. People expect me to say I miss "home" (I generally tell people I am from Upper Hutt when I know they are asking me where am I really from) which I do, but they also expect me to gush with compliments and praises about New Zealand, which I normally don't do, not that New Zealand isn't a wonderful but place is not as important as people. And that is what I tell people when they ask me how I like it here. I would be happy anywhere Vaughan and Lucy are; they are my home.

So, I am definitely at the FIT stage in my "emotional settlement" in New Zealand. I feel comfortable here, I know what is going on, I get what being a kiwi is about. I am not sure I feel totally accepted or integrated. I think I will continue to be perceived by many as a transplant, an other, an American. And that is okay. I am okay with being American. ("Hello, my name is Jennifer and I am an American.") We know people in context and part of who I am is that I used to live in America and I have a funny accent. And now I live in New Zealand with my lovely husband and daughter. Who I am continues to change and expand, even how I think of myself, and that is a good thing.

Change is good. New Zealand is good.